"Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine."
"It helped you, did it?" asked the doctor very much pleased.
"It helped me wonderfully."
"How many bottles did you find it necessary to take?"
"Oh, I didn't take any of it. My uncle took one bottle, and I am his sole heir."
"Now then, Tommy Brown," said the teacher, "I want to set you a little problem. Suppose there were five children and their mother had only four potatoes to share between them. She wants to give each child an equal share. How would she do it?"
"Mash the potatoes," said the boy.
Up in Maine a motorist came across a lonely hut and interviewed the proprietor with a view to writing up the locality.
"Whose house is this?" he asked.
"What in the world is it built of?"
"Any animals natural to the locality?"
"What sort of soil have you?"
"How about the climate?"
"What do you live on chiefly?"
"Have you any friends?"
The conceited young man had been in the hospital for some time and had been extremely well looked after by the pretty young nurse.
"Nurse," said the patient, one morning. "I'm in love with you. I don't want to get well."
"Don't worry," replied the nurse cheerfully, "you won't. The doctor's in love with me too and he saw you kissing me this morning."