"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "Can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well, what did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, please make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.' "
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
What did the ghost say when the police arrested him for joy riding a small motorcycle?
“And to think, I always said I’d never get caught dead riding a moped.”
In a well known fortune 500 company the employee lounge was seldom used. As executives walked by the lounge each day they noticed a man with his feet up, shoes off and a loosened tie watching the television.
The next day the man was still there and so on. After a week or so talk around the water fountain led many employees to band together and confront the man.
The group met at the employee lounge and asked the man, "Why are you here and who hired you?"
After swallowing the popcorn he replied, "The CEO is so busy he hired me to watch TV for him."