Latest Jokes

$50.00 won 3 votes

There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.

I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel # 5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary like I do every day;
If my names not there, I'll once again start -
Perfecting the art of falling apart.

3 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 1 votes

My brother was having a tough time losing weight.

Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, “Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?”

Mike answered, “Want to split two?”

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
1 votes

I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life.

What they don’t tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning your juicer.

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
1 votes

For those struggling with the English language, this may help...

Don't = Do not

Won't = Wo not!

1 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
posted by "Francis Nicholas" |