Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.
The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
My neighbour banged on the wall at 430am this morning!
Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.
They banged and shouted, "Can we have a little respect please?"
I shouted back, "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this one’s for you!"
This country’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
The search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.