Latest Jokes

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Jake is struggling with two huge suitcases when a stranger asks, “Got the time?”

Jake glances at his wrist. “A quarter to six.”

“Nice watch,” the stranger says.

“Thanks,” Jake says. “I built it. It can speak the time aloud for any city, in any language. Plus it’s got GPS and an MP3 player.”

“Wow!” the man says. “How much?”

“This is my prototype. It’s not for sale.

“I’ll give you $1,000.”

“Can’t,” Jake says. “It’s not ready.”

“$5,000!”

“Well Okay, but...”

The man slaps a wad of cash into Jake’s hand, grabs the watch, and starts to walk away.

“Wait,” Jake yells, running toward him with the suitcases. “Don’t forget your batteries!”

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
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Pierre, a meek Parisian sculptor never created anything larger than a man's fist, so the art world was surprised when he unveiled an entire elephant in marble.

"But Pierre," said one of his many fans, "how could you sculpt such a perfect likeness without a model?"

"There was nothing to it," explained Pierre. "I simply chipped off everything that didn't look like an elephant."

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Ed ORorke" |
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A friend had a waitressing position open at his diner and asked job seekers to fill out an application.

Under “Salary Expected”, a woman wrote, “Friday”.

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CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

An alcoholic wakes up in jail. He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"

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Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Adie Peter" |