The teacher told her class to copy the math problems she had written on the board and to draw a line between each problem. When she was grading the papers she noticed that little Susie had drawn flowers between the problems.
Teacher to Susie: "These are very pretty flowers, but why did you draw them on your math assignment?"
Susie: "I had to draw flowers because I don't know how to draw lions."
A young secretary in my office was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had on her vacation. She then asked her boss for two weeks leave in which to get married.
"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"
"What, and ruin my vacation?" she whined.
Ralph took a job with a construction to paint lines on Texas Road 82. The first day he painted ten miles. The boss was very impressed.
The second day he painted two miles. The boss was a little disappointed. The third day he only painted 500 feet.
The boss sat him down and said, "Ralph, how come you paint ten miles the first day, two miles the next day, but only 500 feet today?".
Ralph replied, "Well boss, each day I get farther and farther away from the paint can".
Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie appears.
“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.”
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder. “I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him. The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!