Latest Jokes

Have you ever wondered why older men usually lift they’re pant cuffs before slowly taking a seat?

Now that I’m older I’ve solved this age old mystery. It’s a matter of physics really and can be easily explained in scientific terms.

Let’s put it this way, due to the effect of iron magma spinning in the earth’s core creating gravitational property metrics change over time affects the dynamics between the physiological union in relation to the nomenclature of a seating devices.

This phenomenon reassigns the trajectories positional relationship rendering the elder human males posterior anatomy contact arrival with the seating device surface in what can be described as close race but nevertheless in second place.

Military leaders succeed in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem.

They are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it.

They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: attack or retreat?

The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES.

The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT?

Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR.

Son: After I graduate college I want become a sales person because there must be hundreds of different types, which gives me options.

Dad: There may be many different types of products but there are only three types of sales people...

The first type will take your commissions and doesn't care if you know...

The second type will take your commissions if they don't think you'll figure it out...

The third type are people that don't know what they're doing. In the end they'll take your commissions accidentally.

Son: That must mean there's a fourth type, someone who is actually a #1 but pretends to be a #3 so you won't get mad at them.

Dad: Actually son, now you're getting into sales management.