Latest Jokes

From my auto mechanic:

"That part is much less expensive than I thought."
"I've never seen anyone maintain their car as well as you do."
"You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."
"It was just a loose wire. No charge."

From my son's preschool teacher:

"Everyone misbehaved today except Michael."
"Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks."
"I wish we had 20 Michaels."

I called my mother from the apartment. When she answered the phone, I could hear a noise behind her that sounded like a jet plane taking off. I asked, "Mother, what's that horrible noise?"

She replied, "It's the dishwasher.... your father fixed it."