I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase. The clerk noticed that I had not signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.
What did the dentist call the x-ray he took of your mouth?
A tooth pic.
My father said I missed parts of the lawn when I cut it.
He told me people are respected when they do stand-up work.
My father has always been a wise man so I followed his wishes and became a comedian.
The reason they named a bar a bar and not a fly is because wedding invitations work much better when it’s announced they’re having an open bar.