I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life.
What they don’t tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning your juicer.
For those struggling with the English language, this may help...
Don't = Do not
Won't = Wo not!
My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
I’m not interested in any diet plan...
Unless of course it lets me use rollover calories!