Latest Jokes

$5.00 won 3 votes

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you that we found your wife at the bottom of the ocean. She had passed away. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her backside was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise."

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$25.00 won 10 votes
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You said everything would be back to normal after June!

Ju-Lyed!

10 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
3 votes
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Mabel never went to church. She always promised to go but never did. The pastor was astounded when she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter she was there for every Sunday service.

Three months later, after a Sunday service, the pastor asked her, “What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it looks like you can't get enough of it?"

She replied, “It's this new car of mine pastor... they told me the warranty will lapse if I miss even one service!”

3 votes

posted by "Retired Terp" |
$8.00 won 5 votes
 

Biology Teacher: Did you know that you have 60,000 miles of blood vessels in your body?

Little Johnny: No wonder I have tired blood.

5 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |