"Mr. Jones," began the timid looking young man, "May I... um... can I... what I mean is, will you...."
"Why yes my boy, you have my blessing," smiled the girl's father.
The young man gasped. "What's that? I have your what?" he asked.
"My blessing to marry my daughter of course," replied Jones. "That's what you mean isn't it, you want to marry her don't you?"
"Why no," said the young man. "I just wanted to know if you could lend me $50.00?"
"Certainly not!" said Jones, sharply. "Why I hardly know you!"
The divorce proceedings had been long, contentious and extremely heated. Finally, the husband's attorney rose for one last try at a no-alimony divorce.
"Your Honor," he said, "my client sincerely believes his wife is just being ridiculous. Why, most women would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry, and on the day in question, he was only opening the door for her out of chivalry."
"Counselor," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce and the settlement Mrs. Smith is asking in its entirely. I simply cannot believe chivalry was the motivation for your client opening that car door - while he was driving down the freeway at 65 mph."