Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 2 votes

I am constantly drinking Diet Coke.

On a rainy day I told my 9 year-old son that I needed an umbrella because I’m made of sugar and will melt in the rain.

He said, “You sure it's not artificial sugar?”

2 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Juniper" |
$25.00 won 2 votes

A man phoned to find out whether he could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted...

They assured him he would be covered.

2 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$50.00 won 3 votes
 

A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, ”Did you get a look at the driver?”

”No,” he said, “but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.”

“How do you know that?” asked the officer.

“I’d recognize her laugh anywhere!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law, unfortunately killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head "no" and mumble a reply.

Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy,' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |