Latest Jokes

Teacher: Little Johnny you look sad today.

Little Johnny: Actually I’m really, really sad. My dad caught me sneaking a cookie before dinner with our new nanny cam and now I’m grounded.

Teacher: I can understand you being sad but why are you really, really sad?

Little Johnny: When I told my mother what happened she said, “What nanny cam? We don’t have a nanny cam.”

John: I worked as a veterinarian tech during the day and went to school at night to earn a degree in literature but no publisher or movie producer takes a second look at my work.

His best friend Frank: In looking over this script I see a distinctive influence in your work that may be a problem. I’ll read it and see if you see what I do… “He was quiet as a mouse; this dogged bear of a detective catty in his ways is stubborn as a mule. He has the memory of an elephant, the tenacity of a mongoose, pound for pound the fight of a rabid badger.”

John: Yes, I see your point; it’s too descriptive, right?

I failed at investigative journalism, pursuing a lead about an ice cream shop that was serving undersized portions.

I couldn’t get the scoop.

Mother: Eat your bread.

Child: I don’t like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread?

Mother: So you become big and strong.

Child: Why do I have to become big and strong?

Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family.

Child: But I don’t like bread!