Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 9 votes

Three politicians were in a heated discussion as to which one was the best liar. As the discussion was getting louder and louder the bartender suggested they have a liars contest. After agreeing to the rules the first says, "I have never told a lie,"

The second indicated that he was not capable of telling a lie.

The third won the prize as he assured the bartender that, "The other two had told the exact truth."

9 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Benjones" |
3 votes
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Me: "Can I have a pizza with liver and onions?"

Pizza Place: "We don't do liver."

Me To Wife: "I thought you said they do liver?"

Wife: "I was told they do deliver."

Me: "Not according to this guy."

3 votes

posted by "Retired Terp" |
4 votes
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A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.

So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Williams is."

A few minutes later, the boy returns.

"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.

"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.

"At me? Whatever for?"

"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Williams told me it's none of your business how old she is."

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes
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I was sitting in my backyard, wondering how the birds could make so much noise...

Then it dawned on me, their talk is "cheep!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "DJN714" |