My wife just completed a 40-week body building routine...
It's a baby boy, weighing 7 pounds!
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"Ninety eight," she replied, "two years older than me."
"So you're 96?" the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
Dean of Students: "And where have you been for the last week?"
Student: "Stop me if you've heard this one..."