Latest Jokes

2 votes

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.

The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?

The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

2 votes

posted by "Merkv814" |
$25.00 won 6 votes

The Sultan of Brunei had 6 children, all girls. Therefore, he had no son and no heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir. Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him British Airways.

Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father bought him P&O Ferries.

Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son, who had caught the 'Western movie' bug replied, "Daddy, I would like a cowboy outfit." Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father went and bought him Microsoft.

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "ELECTION " |
$9.00 won 3 votes

"It takes Bill a day and a night to tell a story."

"He'd make a good bookkeeper, I should think."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's never short on his accounts."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
$15.00 won 7 votes

A boastful Englishman was holding forth on the merits of his watch to friends in New York City. At last, one of the American friends decided he could stand it no longer.

"That's nothing, "he interrupted. "I dropped my watch into the Hudson a year ago, and it's been running ever since."

The Englishman looked taken aback. "What!" he exclaimed. "The same watch?"

"No," he replied, "the Hudson."

7 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "barber7796" |