After picking up food for his daughter's cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too.
"Shall I have the cat's name written on the side of the bowl?" offered the store owner.
"No, don't bother," replied George. "He can't read anyway."
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags,
Please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray,
As for my belly, Please take it away.
Keep me healthy, Keep me young,
And thank you Lord, For all you've done.
Me: Could you pass me the Washington Shire sauce?
Her: The what?
Me: The Westminster Shore sauce.
Her: Are you feeling alright?
Me: The Warcaster Shiner sauce... you know the one I mean!