Latest Jokes

I wished my wife a Happy Birthday this morning and then joked, "The clown and the pony will be here a bit later!"

She responded, "Don't worry, I've been sheltering-in-place with the clown for almost a year now."

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids...

When I got home, they were still there.

"I saw the doctor you told us to see."

"Did you tell him I sent you?"

"Yes, I did."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me to pay in advance."

"I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?"

"Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on?"