I was the best door-to-door security alarms salesman for several years running.
The trick was to level a brochure on the kitchen table if there was nobody home.
Teacher: What is a synonym?
Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!
Ashlea: I told you, I'm on a strict plant-based diet.
John: Don't worry, these burgers are all plant-based.
Ashlea: Mmm... this is delicious. What plant is this from?
John: Meat-packing plant.
A boy is listening to the car radio with his father.
"Dad," he began, "what music did you like when you were growing up?"
"Well, I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin," the father replies.
"Yeah, I liked them too."