Boss: Congratulations! I'm promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
Young man (disappointed): But sir! There's nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I'll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
Young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?
A man sees an ad for a $50 cruise on Craigslist. Despite his better judgement, he grabs some cash and makes his way to the address given in the ad.
He opens the door to a small office and is knocked unconscious from behind. He wakes up tied to a barrel floating in the Atlantic Ocean. "Well, this sucks," he thinks out loud.
A second man floats by, also tied to a barrel. "Tell me about it," the second man replies. "This is worse than last year."
A librarian was camping and left his shoes outside his tent for the night. The next morning he woke up to find his shoes practically soaking wet from a heavy dew. That evening, when he arrived home, he began making an addition to his tent to keep his shoes dry on his next trip. After careful sewing and planning, he had what he thought would be the perfect solution to keep his shoes dry on future trips.
The next time he went camping he set up in a popular spot next to other campers and was asked about his tents
addition. He told the fellow camper his story of his wet shoes and how he had made the addition to his tent himself. The librarian had even come up with a name for his invention to which he proclaimed, "I call it the Dewey Vestible System."