Latest Jokes

3 votes
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Me: "Can I have a pizza with liver and onions?"

Pizza Place: "We don't do liver."

Me To Wife: "I thought you said they do liver?"

Wife: "I was told they do deliver."

Me: "Not according to this guy."

3 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |
4 votes
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A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.

So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Williams is."

A few minutes later, the boy returns.

"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.

"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.

"At me? Whatever for?"

"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Williams told me it's none of your business how old she is."

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes
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I was sitting in my backyard, wondering how the birds could make so much noise...

Then it dawned on me, their talk is "cheep!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "DJN714" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing...

If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |