The manager of a touring theatrical company emailed the owner of the theater in a small town where his company was due to appear.
"Would like to hold rehearsal next Monday afternoon at three. Have your stage manager, carpenter, property man, electrician, and all stage hands present at that hour."
A few seconds later he received the following reply: "All right. He'll be there."
Man: Baby, you so fine, I want to be different and give you this here line.
Woman: This ain't a line, this is a folded up piece of paper!
Man: Please open the paper and say what you see.
Woman: What is this, all I see is a line???!!!
Man: Yes, and if you put it to your ear, it will be a line you never heard before!
Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She'd bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind her. This went on about 2 minutes.
I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was declined though. She said, "Why have bumpers if you're not going to use them once in a while?"