Latest Jokes

2 votes
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The boyfriend calls his girlfriend and says, "Hi, hon, are you good with your heart transplant tomorrow?"

"Oh, I'm a bit frightened, but confident," she answers.

"You know, I love you, and I'm sure everything is gonna be fine," he adds.

"I love you too!" she says and hangs up.

After a successful surgery, she wakes up and when she sees her father beside her, she inquires, "Where's my boyfriend?"

"Whose heart do you think is in your body now?" asks her dad.

"NOOOO!!!" she exclaims.

"Calm down," said her father, "this was just to test your new heart. He just went to the restroom..."

2 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
posted by "Tony Silva" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.

"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something," she suggested.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he answered.

"No girlfriend? Why not?"

"My wife won't let me. "

2 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "outward" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into the ex-President. "Hello," Bush said. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

Moses took one look at the President, turned and ran in the other direction. The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.

Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.

Moses said, "The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$8.00 won 5 votes

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head.

Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder.

5 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |