During history class the teacher was discussing George Washington.
"George Washington, not only did he chopped down his cherry tree," the teacher explained, "but he also admitted to doing it. Does anyone know why his father did not punish him? "
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny answered, "Maybe because George still had the ax in his hand?"
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.
"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.
The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.
Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water, "Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes."
The aquarium shop where I work has been in business for more than 20 years. One Sunday a customer called wanting to buy a larger aquarium. "And by the way, I’ve spent a lot of money at your store over the years," he said. "I think I should get a discount."
"Only our owner can give a discount," I explained, "and he won’t be in until tomorrow."
When the customer said that he’d come in the next day, I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with.
"Sure," he said. "Where is your store located?"