Teacher at PTA group meeting one evening...
"All right, class! Let us show your parents and our guests here tonight how much you have learned about patriotism and citizenship. Can any student please tell me why November 3rd is so important and always remembered?"
A small hand is raised in the back... "Yes, Johnny. Please share with us."
Johnny stands up and answers: "That day is so important to Americans and will always be remembered because we won't see non-stop political ads anymore till the next election."
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real.
He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, 'Good Lord, are you still in there?!'"