Latest Jokes

* Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor--and you don't care.

* You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

* Popsicle's become a food staple.

* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

* You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on you!

* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

* You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

* Your kid throws up and you catch it.

* You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

"I heard you have been to Spain recently. Knowing you don't speak Spanish very well, did you face any difficulty?"

"None at all, however those who listened to me sure did."

I got my COVID test today, it says 50.

What does that mean?

Also, my IQ test came back positive.

My son and I were sat in the city centre, waiting for my wife to come out of this high-end shoe store, and we were absolutely bored to tears.

Then all the sudden, the entire Royal Ballet came out of nowhere and put on a completely impromptu dance performance!

We were still absolutely bored to tears.