"Did you give the prisoner the third degree?" the police captain asked the detective.
"Yeah, we browbeat him pretty good," nodded the other. "Asked him every question and made every threat we could think of."
"And did you get a confession?" asked the sergeant.
"Not exactly," explained the officer. "All he'd say was, 'Yes dear' and he'd doze off."
Two DIZZY type ladies were discussing the big hole in a street as every day somebody fall in it...
Dizzy A : We must find a solution cause every day some one is dead and the nearest hospital 20 Km.
Dizzy B : I got it, we build a new hospital beside the hole.
Dizzy A : It will take 5 - 10 years to build a hospital. After that everybody will be dead. I got a great solution... we close that hole and open another one beside the nearest hospital!
A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. The doctor asks "How often?" and the man replies 10 to 15 times an hour.
The doctor goes to his back office and returns with a pole with an iron hook. The man screams, "What are going to do with that Doc?"
The doctor replies, "I'm going to open some windows."
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals to one pound of weight per week.
Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago.
I owe my life to chocolate!