Latest Jokes

$15.00 won 2 votes

Dear Customer Service,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 1 votes

A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, "What 20 Million American Women Want."

He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages.

His wife was a little annoyed. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

He calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$10.00 won 1 votes

Police officer: Sir, I pulled you over because I have been following you for a while and you went through a stop sign without stopping, went through a red light AND you didn’t yield for the pedestrians on a crosswalk. So let me ask you, did you see the red light?

Driver: Yes I did.

Police Officer: Did you see the stop sign?

Driver: Yes I did.

Police officer: Did you see the pedestrians?

Driver: Yes I did.

Police officer: SO WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP???

Driver: Because… I didn’t see YOU.

1 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Raj Padmanathan " |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Upon returning rather late from an annual physical my wife was wondering how it went. I replied, ”Very routine. He asked if I am continuing to exercise regularly. I replied, ‘yes.’ And am I watching my diet and eating healthy foods to which I replied, ‘of course.’ And are you limiting your alcohol consumption to 1-2 drinks per week I responded ‘absolutely.‘"

My wife then asked, “Then why are you so late?”

“I had to stop at church and go to confession.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Jquattro" |