Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?"
I replied, "Not at all."
"Good," he said, "Take these drinks to table nine."
Pulling into the crowded parking lot at the shopping center, I rolled down the car windows to make sure my puppy had fresh air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? "Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"
Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.
They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.
After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"
The nun replied, "Nah, don't you know old habits are hard to break!"
When my teenage son worked part time in a hardware store, a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed.
My son, trying to be helpful, suggested, "Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead? "
The customer scrutinized him and said, "You're not married, are you?"
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