Latest Jokes

Three college professors were playing golf in a particularly hot day when they decided to make a bet. Whoever loses a round will remove an article of clothing. By the time they got to the 9th hole they were all completely naked. Just as they were about to wear clothes, a bus carrying a group of college students came around the bend. Two of the three professors grabbed their clothes and try to cover their naked body. The third one, however, just put his clothes over his face.

After the bus passed the two professors asked the third one, “Why in the world would you cover your face? Have you no shame?”

The professors replies, “I don’t know about your classroom but in my classroom EVERYONE knows my face!”

Do you know why baby diapers have brand names like Luvs, Huggies and Pampers while undergarments for old people are called Depends?

Well, here is the reason...

When babies soil their pants, people are still going to Luv"em, Hug'em, and Pamper'em.

When old people soil their pants, it Depends on who's in the will!

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen planning dinner, and noticed that the clock had stopped. That really put me behind for my day, so today I decided that I'd better stop at the store for a AA battery.

I found a clerk, and said "Please point me to where the batteries are, I need one in my kitchen."

The clerk asked, "Is it for a clock?"

I said, "I don't know, that's why I need a battery."