I've pursued riches all my life...
My only regret is that I didn't catch any.
Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he'd have to wait an additional three hours in the airport.
"How come?" his nephew asked.
"My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained.
"Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didn't know planes had parents."
What did Queen Guinevere say about Sir Lancelot after he slayed three war dogs to save the King?
"One day they'll name a rock band after this knight!"
Last Saturday night me and my date watched a movie at my house. I leaned over and kissed her for the first time.
She instantly remarked, "You must be the one, I heard trumpets sound when we kissed."
Now I'm hoping she doesn't find out it was my little brother downstairs practicing for band.