Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?
He lost May.
Those who aspire toward universal good may dream a hero’s death...
However, statistically speaking there’s a better chance they’ll choke and be taken out by a chicken nugget.
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had.
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom... think of something to ask it."
As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"