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Favorite this joke I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...
Switching my car into reverse and speeding away!
A concerned father called his son’s Scout Master. “My son told me that due to a new policy you wouldn’t be bringing any moonshine so he’d be required to bring beer for evening use."
After a low quiet chuckle the Scout Master replied, “No, I said due to a new moon it wouldn’t shine well so make sure you bring a bush light for use after dark.”
This guy is at the airport waiting for his flight which leaves at 6:00 but he has forgotten his watch, so he looks for someone to ask the time. He spots this guy walking past carrying two suitcases and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, so he asks him for the time. The guy replies, "Sure. Which country?"
Our fella asks, "How many countries have you got?" to which the reply is "All the countries in the world!"
"Wow! That's a pretty cool watch you've got there."
"That's nothing. This watch also has a GPS facility, fax, e-mail and can even receive NTSC television channels and display them on its miniature active color pixel LCD screen!"
"Boy, that's incredible. I wish I had a watch like that one... You wouldn't consider selling it by any chance?"
"Well, actually the novelty has worn off by now, so for $900, if you want it, it's yours!"
Our watch-less traveler can hardly whip out his check book fast enough, and hands over a check for $900.
The seller takes off the watch and gives it to him. "Congratulations, here is you new hi-tech watch!" and then handing the two suitcases over as well he says, "and here are the batteries!"
A lady walked into a dentist's office and exclaimed, "I don't know which is worse, having a root canal or having a baby!"
The dentist replied, "Well make up your mind, so I know how to tilt the chair."
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