Latest Jokes

2 votes

A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to flub nine balls into the water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, he heaves his golf clubs into the water and begins to walk off the course.

Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course.

Then one of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?"

And he said, "I had to, I left my car keys in the bag."

2 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
3 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.

Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.

"There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "now you only have one eye left."

3 votes

posted by "Merkv814" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

9 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

One minute you're young and fun...

The next minute you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.

4 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |