Latest Jokes

 A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.  
Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..."
 "Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"  
 "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."  
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.  
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana."

 A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.  
Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..."
 "Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"  
 "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."  
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.  
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana."

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers. He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, "That's a very innovative approach" and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?" 

One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their knives and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise. Came and killed those two dead boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, just ask the blind man he saw it too!!!