Latest Jokes

2 votes
 

As I was walking through a variety store, I stopped at the pet department to look at some parakeets. In one cage a green bird lay on his back, one foot hooked oddly into the cage wire.

I was about to alert the saleswoman to the bird's plight when I noticed a sign taped to the cage:

"No, I am not sick. No, I am not dead. No, my leg is not stuck in the cage. I just like to sleep this way."

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$10.00 won 4 votes
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A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

4 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$50.00 won 8 votes

Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room

Me: How old are your kids?

Patient: 44 and 39 with my wife who passed away, and 15 and 13 with my second wife.

Me: That’s quite the age difference!

Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own.

8 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Etienne" |
$7.00 won 5 votes

Top 3 situations that require witnesses:

1) Crimes
2) Accidents
3) Marriages

Need I say more?

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |