Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 4 votes

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. Here's her story in her own words:

"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.

If I had not had my little Ruger .22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.

The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
$12.00 won 7 votes

Before crowbars were invented...

...most crows drank at home by themselves.

7 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
3 votes
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A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, "Meat loaf and a kind word."

When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, "Where's the kind word?"

The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down, and whispered, "Don't eat the meat loaf."

3 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us."

4 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |