Teacher: Since it's storm season, can anyone tell the class what a category five storm is?
Little Johnny: It’s when everyone hides in their room, including dad. It usually happens when Aunt Suzy comes to visit us and she starts talking to my mom about politics.
Would you like a joke about statistics?
People you do not want to hear say, "OOPS!":
• Your surgeon.
• Your dentist.
• Your nurse.
• Your hairdresser.
• Your mechanic.
• Your gardener.
• Your tax accountant.
• The computer tech person.
• The house painter.
• The pilot.
• The crew installing your roof.
• Your lover.
When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products.
At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips.
Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater."