Latest Jokes

Part II
WHAT THE NEW JOB-LINGO REALLY MEANS by Dede Molter


"CAREER-MINDED": Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people whom just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Part I
WHAT THE NEW JOB-LINGO REALLY MEANS by Dede Molter


"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

Part I
WHAT THE NEW JOB-LINGO REALLY MEANS by Dede Molter


"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.

One day a man walked into a bar with a peanut and a banjo. He set the banjo on the table and the banjo said, "Give me your strongest bottle of tequila."
"Wow, can I buy that banjo from you?" The bartender said.
"Well, sure, but it has to be around two thousand dollars."
The man sold the banjo and the man next to him said, "You, idiot, you could have gotten millions!"
"No I couldn't, it was actually my ventriloquist peanut that said that!"