Latest Jokes

An Antartian goes into a souvenir shop and asks the man at the counter if he has any alligator skin shoes. The man said, "Yes, right over there on the shelf."

He walks over to the shelf and then back to the counter where the shop owner was sitting and says, "The shoes cost too much." The shop owner says, "Well, go and see if you can find some cheaper." The Antartian leaves the store.

The shop owner, on his way home, notices a dead alligator by the swamp. He pulls over, walks to the swamp and notices the Antartian standing in the middle of the swamp. The man asks him what he is doing in the swamp; about that time the shop owner sees a giant alligator coming up behind the Antartian. The alligator and the man go under the water.

The Antartian comes up and drags the alligator to the shore. He looks at the alligator's feet and says, "This one doesn't have any shoes either."

Three guys witness a murder; the only problem is they each say only one thing. The first guy says, "Mememememe." The second guy says, "Forks and knifes." And the third guy says, "Goody, goody gumdrops."
When the policeman gets there, he asks, "Who killed this man?" The first guy replies, "Memememememe." Then the policeman asks, "What did you kill him with?" The second guy replies, "Forks and knifes. Forks and knifes." Then the policeman says, "That's it! You're all going to jail." The third guy says, "Goody, goody gumdrops!"

Three guys witness a murder; the only problem is they each say only one thing. The first guy says, "Mememememe." The second guy says, "Forks and knifes." And the third guy says, "Goody, goody gumdrops."
When the policeman gets there, he asks, "Who killed this man?" The first guy replies, "Memememememe." Then the policeman asks, "What did you kill him with?" The second guy replies, "Forks and knifes. Forks and knifes." Then the policeman says, "That's it! You're all going to jail." The third guy says, "Goody, goody gumdrops!"

A husband comes home and sees his wife painting the living room, but she had her raincoat and her fur coat on. He asks her why she has her coats on. She replies, "I read the can, and it said for best results put on two coats."