Latest Jokes

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh... I know what you've been doing."

"Two guys walk into a bar... you'd think the second would duck."

The following quotes are reported to have been taken from actual Federal (U.S.) employee performance evaluations:
- "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
- "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
- "He would argue with a signpost."
- "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
- "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
- "Takes him two hours to watch 60 minutes."