Latest Jokes

An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

Sign at truck stop café reads: Eat here diet home

ELEPHANT AND ANT QUESTIONS - TO ASK SOMEBODY
1. One day the elephant and the ant went to play hide and seek in the Jungle. It was the elephant's turn to seek and he searched high and low until he came upon a temple in the middle of the Jungle. Q: Now, how did the elephant know that the ant was inside the Temple? A: Because the ant left his slippers outside.
2. The ant went to visit the elephant one day. After a nice meal, the elephant suggested they watch TV. Q: Why did the ant decline? A: Because he left his glasses at home.
3. One day the elephant and the ant went biking, when they crashed into a big truck. The elephant died immediately. Q: Do you know why the ant survived? A: Because he was wearing a helmet.

10 fun things to do at your local retail store.....
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
'I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,' and see what happens.