Lizzy Profile

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Lizzy

User Details

Member Since : Jul, 2021
# of jokes posted : 35
# of followers : 1
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 65.00
1 votes

My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had.

Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom... think of something to ask it."

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Lizzy" |
1 votes

What’s the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos while a foot has five toes.

1 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Lizzy" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.

Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.

The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:

"Nana?"

"Yes?"

"There are 38."

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Lizzy" |
$50.00 won 3 votes

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man, and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'."

3 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Lizzy" |