Latest Jokes

1 votes
 

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you, Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage would you ask if I was Polish?"

The clerk says, "No I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords Clothing Store."

1 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

Mrs. Smith: My husband's face fell a mile when he first saw the Grand Canyon.

Mrs. Jones: Was he that disappointed?

Mrs. Smith: No, he fell into the canyon.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
$25.00 won 10 votes

A kindhearted judge was commiserating with the wife. "Your husband really has a problem. Has he ever tried Alcoholics Anonymous?"

"I'm sure he has," she nodded sadly. "That man will drink anything."

10 votes

CATEGORY Judge Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grandfather got out. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help.

"Why, Grandfather," my friend said, "you've been going there for 40 years. How could you get lost?"

The old man smiled slyly. "Wasn't exactly lost," he admitted. "I just got tired of walking."

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |