Latest Jokes

2 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

My optometrist just told me I had 2020 vision...

I told him I wanted a 2nd opinion!

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$8.00 won 5 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

A man stepped onto the overnight train and told the conductor, "I need you to wake me up in Philadelphia. I'm a deep sleeper and can be ornery when I get up, but no matter what, I want you to help me make that stop. Here's $100 to make sure."

The conductor agreed. The man fell asleep, and when he awoke he heard the announcement that the train was approaching New York. Furious, he collared the conductor. "I gave you $100 to make sure I got off in Philadelphia, you worthless fool!"

"Wow," another passenger said to his traveling companion. "Is that guy ever mad!"

"Yeah," his companion replied. "But not half as mad as that guy they forced off the train in Philadelphia."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 10 votes

A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief. After he came home she'd start right in on him again.

After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30. His wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her, "You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house, I lost you to him in the card game tonight."

His wife became furious and started to give him hell. She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?"

He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done... I had to fold with king hi four aces."

10 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Egbert" |
4 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

Since the corona-virus outbreak, my 27 year old son has been washing his hands vigorously.

In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found some answers to an old eighth-grade math test!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Bhanu Sandesh" |