Why did Little Johnny start each day gluing coins to the back of his shirts and stretching to touch his toes?
Because he was going out for the football team, and he wanted to be the quarter-back!
But why the stretching?
So he could touch-down...
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'
He stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.''
The teacher says, ''No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?''
Another little boy stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”
Again the teacher says, ''No, that's wrong.''
The teacher asks, ''Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?''
Little Johnny stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.''
''Excellent Little Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?''
Little Johnny says, ''That's easy. Two plus two be fore.”
Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living.
Little Mary says: ''My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.”
Little Jack says: ''My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.”
All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.
Teacher says: ''Little Johnny, what does your Dad do?''
Little Johnny says: ''My Dad is dead.''
''I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?''
''He turned blue and fell on the carpet.''
The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood.
After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put a Band-Aid on that arm as well.
As he left the collection facility, the lieutenant passed a colonel. Noting the two bandages, he looked at the first lieutenant and shook his head, saying, "I knew you young guys would find some way to cheat."