Latest Jokes

If an ant needs to dig a really big hole in the ground...

Do you suppose it could rent a Caterpillar?

A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies.

Foreman: "Can you drive a forklift truck?"

Man: "No."

Foreman: "Can you plaster?"

Man: "No."

Foreman: "Can you brick lay?"

Man: "No."

Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you?"

Man: "I only live five minutes down the road."

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction...

I read to the end and say, "Well, that's not going to happen."

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife…

But she figured out I was only after my money!