Sign outside a furniture store in northern Virginia:
ANTIQUE TABLES MADE HERE DAILY!
I am looking for someone to brush their teeth with me.
I found out that 9 out of 10 dentists say brushing alone won't reduce cavities.
Neighbor: "How old is your father?"
Boy: "As old as me."
Neighbor: "How can that be?"
Boy: "He became a father when I was born."
Teacher: If you multiplied 50 by 8 and then divided by 4, what would you get?
Student: The wrong answer.