Latest Jokes

After our brand-new washing machine broke down, my in-laws, my husband, and I were discussing how today’s appliances can’t compete with the quality of those made 50 years ago.

“Oh, yes,” agreed my mother-in-law, never a fan of housework. “Years ago they were built to last. I’ve still got the same iron from when we were first married, and there’s not a thing wrong with it.”

Dryly, my father-in-law added, "Well, yes, but it’s never been out of the box, dear."

What do you call a number that can't keep still?

A roamin' numeral.

My Uber driver really cares about my mental health.

Just this morning I got a message from him saying: “I’m here for you.”

Your veterinarian won't tell you this but if your dog is running a fever, go to the store and buy some mustard.

It's the best thing for a hot dog.