Latest Jokes

A man and a woman are having a date.

The woman remarks, “You know, you look totally like my third husband!”

The man is startled and asks, “Really, how many times have you been married?”

“Twice.”

When Ruth's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, now I can't be a doctor when I grow up."

Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn't.

Finally, she asked, "Why can't you be a doctor?"

Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, "Because now I will have to be a pirate!"

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.

In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.