Latest Jokes

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

He looks through the cattlelog.

Mr. Benson: "Honey, last night I heard you complaining about me in your sleep."

Mrs. Benson: "Oh, that was just your imagination."

Mr. Benson: "My imagination? How so?"

Mrs. Benson: "That I was asleep."

Why is it that when you go grocery shopping, you can buy a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, a gallon of milk in a plastic bottle, turkey slices in plastic wrap, six apples in a plastic carton, a block of cheese in plastic wrap, and plastic bottles of ketchup and mustard.

But when you go to check out, they won't give you a plastic bag because it's bad for the environment?

Remember when we cried as kids, our parents replied with, "I'll give you something to cry about!"

We just never thought that, instead of hitting us, they'd destroy the housing market, quadruple college tuition, and melt the polar ice caps.