Dogs: "Oh My god, you're here all day and this is the best as I can love you, see you, be with you and follow you! I am so excited because you are the greatest and I love you being here so much!
Cats: "What are you still doing here?"
My daughter called me at work to say I had received a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account.
Returning the call to my bank, the operator asked what Josh's last name was. I explained that he hadn't left his last name.
Then she asked for his department, and I said that I didn't know that either.
"There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she told me rather sharply.
So I asked her for her name.
"Danielle," she said.
"And your last name?" I asked.
"Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names."
Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
It’s a long story…
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.
Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.
Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him.
After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate.
Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, "Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."
Bristling, the harried executive called back, "Get lost. I gave at the office!"