Latest Jokes

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids...

When I got home, they were still there.

"I saw the doctor you told us to see."

"Did you tell him I sent you?"

"Yes, I did."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me to pay in advance."

"I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?"

"Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on?"

The economy is going to be so bad that...

1. I will get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. You will order a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter will ask, "Can you afford fries with that?"

3. McDonald's will be selling the 1/4 ouncers.

4. CEO's will be playing miniature golf.

5. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds" you may have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.