Latest Jokes

1 votes
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Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Carol found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents.

"Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added, "And, Carol?"

"Yes, mom?"

"Call them first and let them know you're coming."

1 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
$8.00 won 3 votes

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

"First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

Mother: I think our son is going to be an astronaut.

Father: What makes you think that?

Mother: I spoke to his teacher today. She said he is taking up space.

4 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
2 votes
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A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars."

"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.

The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."

The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.

"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system."

Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.

"That one costs 2,000 dollars."

"And what does that one do?" the man asked.

The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |