Latest Jokes

$15.00 won 9 votes

His wife returned from the morning shopping expedition and called her husband into the room from the garden.

"Frederick," she said heavily, "When you came home last night you told me you had been to the Grand Hotel with Mr. Wilson. I just met Mrs. Wilson, and she said you were both at the Trocadero. Why did you lie to me like that."

Hubby groaned. "When I came home last night I couldn't say 'Trocadero.'"

9 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |
2 votes

There is an old story about the data center of the future.

This data center runs 24/7 with only a man and a dog.

The man's job is to feed the dog.

The dog's job is to make sure the man does not touch the computer.

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
$7.00 won 5 votes
 

Two years after my heart attack, I was teaching my college course when I felt discomfort in my chest. I paused the class to pop my medication and felt better quickly.

“Now, if I ever do have a heart attack,” I told my students, “I will give extra credit to whoever gives me CPR.”

One of them shouted out, ”How much?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Teacher Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$6.00 won 6 votes

My second-grade student came running up to me, whining. “Look what Robert stuck on my back!"

It was a sticky note with the words “Kick me, I’m stupid” written on it.

I took Robert aside and lectured him on how to treat people with kindness and the importance of being polite and encouraging.

A few minute later, I heard, “Look what Robert stuck on my back!”

It was that first little boy, holding another sticky note.

This one said, “Kick me, I’m smart.”

6 votes

CATEGORY Teacher Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |