I bought a bag of air today…
The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.
Why did the Turkey snicker alongside the stuffing?
It was an inside joke.
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
Aretha Franklins.
Comedian: "I highly object to you having me go on stage after that monkey act."
Stage manager: "Honestly, I can understand, the audience might have thought it was an encore."