Latest Jokes

Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.

Having raised a large family, my mother cooked everything in battalion-size batches.

So when my newly married brother, Ron requested her chop-suey recipe, she experimented for two weeks with the ingredients in order to cut the dish down for the honeymooners.

"Thanks for the recipe, Mom," "Ron wrote home. "The first thing we did was triple it so we would have plenty of leftovers!"

Windows: Please enter your new password.

User: potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters long.

User: baked potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must contain at least one numerical character.

User: 3 baked potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot have any blank spaces.

User: 75bigdumbstinkinbakedpotatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case letter.

User: 75bigDUMBstinkinbakedpotatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case letter consecutively

User: 75BigDumbStinkinBakedPotatoesSmashedInYourFaceIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNow!

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

User: 75BigDumbStinkinBakedPotatoesSmashedInYourFaceIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNowAndRightThisVeryMinute

Windows: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Joe: "I've heard about your wit."

Moe: "Oh, that's nothing."

Joe: "Yeah, that's what I've heard."